The Choice Point

In the last reflection, we considered the call to return, over and over again, to the God who invites us out of fear and self-reliance. That “return” is not only a spiritual image but also something that happens in the most ordinary moments of our day. Each time we act, we are making a choice.

In spirituality, the choice is between the choice that draws us closer to the person God calls us to be, or one that carries us away from that call. In psychology, this is named in a bit of a parallel way: do we make a choice that brings us closer to the life we want to live and the person we aspire to be, or not? Note, with both this isn't about the choice that brings the most comfort, or the most happiness, or the least trouble. It's about value and meaning.

The Moment of Choice

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), this moment is visualized through a model called the Choice Point. It’s a simple diagram of two arrows pointing in different directions. It's a fork in the road, with one path labeled toward, the other away.

• Toward moves take us towards our goals, and are intentional actions guided by our chosen values (qualities of behavior), such as love, faith, patience, courage.

• Away moves take us away from our goals, and are reactions that pull us from those values, through behaviors like hiding, avoiding, controlling, or numbing.

  
  

Grace in the Return

We are always making one kind of move or the other. And it bears repeating that we cannot always expect ourselves to choose the "towards moves" every time. We get exhausted. We can't take the overwhelm of the feelings. Our emotions are too strong and drag us into a reaction. We are humans living in a difficult world. It happens.

In those moments, ACT encourages us to engage in compassionate self-reflection. For Christians, we can add to that the image of God holding us in His mercy. We can embrace the reality of God inviting us back to try over and over again, like a loving parent who has patience for our beautiful, messy growth.

Each time we notice an away move, we can receive that awareness as grace: the gentle nudge of the Spirit saying, “come back.” And each toward move, no matter how small, becomes an act of love that reorders us toward God.

Returning, Again and Again

The Choice Point doesn’t demand perfection. It reminds us that every moment, even the moment right after we’ve gone astray, is another invitation to return.

From the ACT model, I'll start to put together the pieces previously discussed, including the observer self, noting, defusing, and experiencing. All these things create psychological flexibility, which means being able to observe and reorient toward what matters.

In Christian life, this is the movement of conversion, which is not a single event, but a daily turning of the heart. As St. Thérèse described it, following her “little way” of doing small things with great love.