Return to Me

“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to Me with all your heart.” (Joel 2:12)

The Christian life is a continual return. Again and again, God invites us to turn from distraction, fear, and self-reliance, and to come back to Him with trust. In the last blog, I spoke about the serious difficulty posed when trust is injured through highly chaotic relationships or trauma. But even in more ordinary circumstances, humans are ones to prefer to plan, to choose, and to control what happens to them. Handing over "all our heart" may feel impossible.

Doing the Impossible

Theologically speaking, it is impossible. That level of perfect trust has been compromised in humanity, shown to us in Genesis when Adam and Eve hid from God in the garden. Moving to trust, to handing our hearts over, is possible only through grace which allows us to reach back to God (who is already reaching for us first).

Even with grace it won't be perfect. In the last post I used the childlike trust of Thérèse of Lisieux as a foil to the doubt trauma can bring. But the reality of St. Thérèse is that she was wounded by trauma, by the death of her mother at an early age. It threw her tender heart into what we now recognize as a clinically anxious state. A careful reading of her life reveals a level of scrupulosity which might even qualify her for a diagnosis of OCD.

Enter "The Little Way"

In both faith and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) our values show us where to aim our lives. These aren’t goals we can check off a list, but ways in which we continue to walk. ACT specifically names values as qualities of behavior, not specific behaviors or actions.  They are values which turn us from distraction, fear, and self-reliance. In Catholic theology we start with ones such as faith, hope, and charity, or prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.

Nearly a century ago St. Thérèse began to practice what she called her "little way": small actions of love and sacrifice. These value-based behaviors appeared in many unremarkable ways, but ways which completely transformed her. God kept reaching towards her, and she kept reaching towards God. By her death, she was joyful and confident in God's love, and saw death as her happy return home.

Qualities of behavior: love, faithfulness, courage, compassion...these are not things we accomplish once. They are ways of being that reflect who God created us to be. We may not always enact the values, but we can always return to them. It's important to note that some of these could be considered feelings, but in this step ACT is not looking at how we feel. These values are not only an inner movement of the heart. They are something we live out through our choices.

In ACT, this is called committed action. That means taking concrete steps that express our deepest values, even when it’s not reflective of how we feel or might be uncomfortable. You might in fact act out values in the utter absence of feeling the related emotion. Think of being scared to approach a stranger who is tearful but doing so anyways. There is no feeling of courage, but there is an act of courage.

We Try, We Fail

A few weeks ago I wrote about avoidance. Avoidance is often what keeps us from living by our values. We avoid pain, uncertainty, or the risk of rejection. Spiritually, avoidance can look like perfectionism, control, or hiding behind religious routines instead of true relationship. ACT helps us notice these patterns with awareness and gentleness. Our faith reminds us that grace meets us exactly where we are. Not after we’ve fixed ourselves, but right in the middle of the struggle.

Christianity, when shared in a healthy way and true to Christ, should remind us it is ok to fail. It is what it means to be human: to be imperfect. The path of discipleship isn’t about never straying. It’s about returning, again and again, through actions that align with love. We are not asked to feel perfectly faithful, only to take the next step that reflects our values and God’s call within them.

Each day, we can pray:

“Lord, help me act in love today, and return to You with all my heart.”