Psychology in the Wild: Part 1

In which I take something pop psych off the internet and dissect it.

There’s a lot of content online that presents itself as solid psychological fact. Sometimes it isn't, with quality ranging from fake to disproven to misrepresented. Other times, there is great content which is quite helpful. I've had clients bring me posts that I've shared with others, and which have even helped me better understand a concept.

The challenge is that anyone can say something with conviction and make it sound true. And even with something true, it doesn't always apply to everyone. People are complex, and culture and context matter so much, that something which is generally valid may not apply to a particular person or group.

So let’s unpack this post sent to me by a client. They found it on Pinterest without credit or branding. If the creator sees this, I’d love to hear from you! The content connects to a very human experience: getting caught in our own thoughts.

Does this speak to you?

As you read it, what did you note. (There's that term again.)

Without judgement or interpretation, did your heart sink? Did your chest tighten? Did you sense a clearing of your mind? Did you start to tear? What were the interior movements which occurred which you might have noticed - that information which might tell you something about what you think about this?

All of that is equally important to what I'm about to say. But here are my thoughts on this.

1. Are over-thinking and under-feeling real things? Well, they are not clinical terms. Words we might use include perseveration or obsession for thinking which fits these ideas. There is also anhedonia, alexithymia, or blunted affect for differences in feeling. But people may feel like they think a lot or don't feel like other people feel.

   
   

2. What is a normal amount of thinking and feeling? The terms imply that there is a baseline, measurable level of "thinking" and "feeling" that are normal or healthy. That's not exactly the case. For something to be considered abnormal in psychology, it has to be outside of statistical or cultural norms and also cause distress, dysfunction, or danger. Otherwise, it's just different.

   
   

3. What are protective mechanisms and is perseveration or obsession one of them? I spoke about the evolutionarily adaptive function of thinking in terms of our minds being problem-solving machines. This implies something different, which is protecting a person from feelings which could overwhelm them by shifting the attention or focus to thoughts. Clinically, we do see people who are in therapy wanting to focus on their thoughts about their feelings or situations rather than sitting with the feelings and really being present to them.

   
   

4. Is a person avoiding their feelings by focusing on thoughts instead of what is really going on inside? The thing I'll point out about this statement is that it is implying that feelings are more real than thoughts. From the perspective of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, it is pointed out that thoughts are not necessarily reflections of reality or the truth. The human brain can think many things without evidence of such things. But therapists will also point out that feelings aren't facts. The reality is that both of these things are reactions to the world.

   
   

5. Are emotions overwhelming and we use thoughts to avoid them? To expanding on #3, there are a variety of ways people try to manage their emotions. In future articles, I'll talk about the ACT phenomena of "experiential avoidance," or engaging in behaviors to cope with difficult emotions. This includes everything from working out to dissociation to drinking to prayer to sex. We use a lot of things to turn our attention from the discomfort of overwhelming emotions (particularly the sense of overwhelm in our bodies and the feeling of the emotion in us).

   
   

6. Does this lead to more stress, disconnection, and anxiety? It can. Thinking about what is going on in our lives is absolutely necessary. But something I see clinically (and engage in personally) is noticing that a feeling is coming up and trying to figure out how to stop it. This can lead to a person engaging with thoughts in a way which perpetuates anxiety while blocking the feeling. The person then ends up with the feeling trying to resurface (more on that in the future) AND the added anxiety of trying to fight off the feeling and losing.

This is a bit complicated, however. Some forms of therapy (like CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy) encourage you to dispute thoughts, labeling them "distortions." The belief is that once you label them as false, you will feel better.

For example, if you feel abandoned because your boyfriend didn't pick up the phone when you called, it could be because you had the thought "he doesn't really like me." CBT would encourage you to label that thought as a potential distortion, encouraging you to not engage in "mind reading" (or assigning thoughts or intentions to another person.) And then you feel better realizing that's probably not the case.

BUT WHAT IF IT IS.

Or so says some people's minds. Disputing negative thoughts can promote a loop of trying to look for more evidence. And more. And more. And with that, it can lead to increased anxiety until proof which feels concrete enough is found. Or if it's not found, around and around the brain can go.

Enter the CBT idea of "thought stopping," which indeed can be successful for some people. This encourages a person to break the cycle by thinking of something neutral or positive. If this hasn't worked for you, or has even felt dismissive or impossible, ACT is probably for you.

ACT is actually of the cognitive behavioral family of therapy. But it discourages these boxing matches with ones thoughts, recognizing that for many people with mental health concerns these techniques get misapplied and make things worse (or just aren't effective at all). If this speaks to you, the good news is that the next articles are all about what to do instead.